#and idk if I’ll get re-elected or not whenever I come back

[figuerockfaeth]

literally every time I receive an email from my college I consider dropping out. cannot take any more emails asking me to set up a payment plan and tell me when we're allowed to move in without telling us any information about what's actually happening next semester and if we have to pay full tuition or not

[azucanela]

SKIN DEEP DECEPTION 

PAIRING: TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER [SOULMATE AU]

SUMMARY: In a world where the number of lies your soulmate tells each day is written in your wrist, Y/N has found that her soulmate has two moods. No lies, or dozens at a time. 

WARNINGS:​ CURSE WORDS (WH*RE). ANGST. MILD VIOLENCE. 

WORD COUNT: 4K.

A/N: happy anniversary? marriage? engagement? @bbykutos​​ <3 this is my first time writing an au so pls lmk how i did and uhhh idk i feel like this is bad

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

IN A WORLD FILLED WITH LIES only one person knew when you were really telling the truth. That person being your soulmate. Though it’s not always a lover, that tended to be the most common occurrence when it came to soulmates. The whole point of soulmates had been to have someone perfect for you, though this wasn’t always the case of course. 

Growing up, Y/N had always viewed soulmates as a false ideal, a distant fantasy, though the number on her wrist was confirmation enough that soulmates existed— that didn’t mean they were truly meant to be. 

She’d learnt that the hard way. 

At times, kids would find their soulmates in their first year of school; which normally went either really well or really poorly. Others in high school, college, some mundane moment at a coffee shop or a more dramatic one at one of the biggest moments of their lives. Sometimes it was romantic, other times it was chaotic, or just plain dull. Most of the times finding your soulmate meant catching them in the midst of a lie... several times. Sometimes people found love, an enemy, or... they just found their soulmate.

Y/N wasn’t the only person who’d become rather apathetic towards the whole idea, though there was no denying the small part of her— in the back of her mind, the part she’d tried so hard to bury— that hoped, that wished, that dreamed of a soulmate who cared for her. 

And yet, even her own parents were an example of this false ideal. 

Not that it mattered, seeing as she was yet to meet her soulmate. There was no reason to dwell on it, that had become abundantly clear to Y/N, and yet here she was, allowing her mind to wander as she stared— maybe even glared— at her wrist in class. 

“I need to use the restroom.” 

The word’s pull her out of her daze, eyes rising back up to the board where her teacher stands— smile on her face as she replies, “of course! Go on ahead.” Y/N’s eyes trail over to the student in question, the blonde boy seated beside her, Tsukishima Kei. She was familiar with him seeing as they’d gone to the same middle school. He also happened to be the class’ star pupil due to his stellar intellect.

With a frown, Y/N exhales deeply and looks back down only to come face to face with the number on her wrist having increased by one.

1 lie so far today, huh. 

Most days Y/N had found that the lies didn’t start piling up until the afternoon, other times there were slim to none, and assuming they were in high school as well— what were they lying about. It truly left her baffled at what in the world they could be saying. Aside from this curiosity, the thought of her soulmate returned to the back of her mind as a hand tapped her shoulder, drawing her out of her thoughts once more.  

A green haired boy stands beside her— she recognizes him, Yamaguchi Tadashi. They’d been friends in middle school and remained so when they’d entered high school, though they weren’t as close as they used to be, Yamaguchi had tried and failed to keep it that way. 

The bitter memories resurface, though Y/N simply pushes them to the back of her mind alongside all the over thoughts she doesn’t want to address as she turns to Yamaguchi with a smile, “hey Yamaguchi, what’s up?”

He offers her a nervous smile, eyes flickering across the room before returning to her before he replies, “I was wondering if you wanted to be in my group?”

Tilting her head at him, a small laugh escapes Y/N as she asks, “group?”

For a moment Yamaguchi’s brows furrow, though his eyes drift towards her single rolled up sleeve, the number one displayed on it, “oh! We have a group project for the next few weeks.” Comes his response.

“Project...” Y/N mumbles out, eyes scanning the room as she watches people enter clusters of three, talking and writing things down in their journal— even exchanging numbers. “Right.”

She had a feeling that Tsukishima’s sunny disposition hadn’t done them any favors when it came to getting other members to join their group projects. Coupled with Yamaguchi’s need to end all conflict between his friends.

That must be how they ended up here. 

Opening her mouth to speak, Y/N quickly shut it as she searched for the right words, bringing an arm to the back of her neck as she scratched it awkwardly. “I just don’t know if that would be the best idea—”

“If what would be the best idea?” Behind Yamaguchi comes Tsukishima, hands shoved into his pockets as he looks between them.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Y/N looks away, brows furrowing as memories begin to surface. Seeing as the last time they’d interacted, Tsukishima had elected to use some... crude words. Well, Y/N had expected awkwardness when they inevitably spoke to each other once more, and the fact that he seemed to unfazed left her wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.

Preferably in a violent way.

Yamaguchi seems to answer for her as he replies, “well I was thinking since we need groups of three, Y/N would just join us.” Yamaguchi looks between the pair before saying, “like old times.”

Y/N wants to gag.

Moving to stand, she offers Yamaguchi a tight lipped smile, “I’ll probably join a different group but—”

“There are no other groups.” Tsukishima interrupts, though there’s no emotion in his words, as though he’s simply stating a fact. Because clearly, he doesn’t care. 

Inhaling deeply, Y/N nods slowly, looking between the both of them before saying, “well you both have my number.” The bell rings, and Y/N can’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she continues, “text me about the project whenever.” Before immediately grabbing her bag from beside her desk and swinging it over her shoulder.

Tsukishima is watching as she leaves, a sigh escaping him as he adjusts his glasses before turning to Yamaguchi, “you’ll need to make a group chat.” 

“Why?” He asks, brows furrowing as he pulls at his phone to do so regardless, fingers typing away at the screen.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Tsukishima shrugs, “she has me blocked.”

Yamaguchi pauses his typing, sighing. Though he doesn’t look up at Tsukishima as he replies, “Of course she does— well I would too.” Yamaguchi exhales deeply, “you should apologize to her.” 

It had always been a touchy subject in their friendship, the way that Tsukishima had elected to end— more accurately, ruin — his friendship with Y/N. Though Yamaguchi wasn’t there to hear what he’d said himself, he’d heard it had been pretty bad from others. After all, Tsukishima had received his first, second and third punch to the face that day.

It was deserved. 

“Yeah.” Comes his reply, shoving his hands back into his pockets. 

In an attempt to combat the uncomfortable silence between them, Yamaguchi asks, “so where’d you go?” 

A smirk breaks out on Tsukishima’s face, “not the bathroom that’s for sure.”

THE NEXT TIME TSUKISHIMA KEI TEXTS Y/N, the message actually goes through. For some reason he can’t bring himself to delete the ones that came before, the apologies from a year prior followed by his messages of realization that she had blocked him. 

Maybe it was the fact that his pride had taken a blow or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t want to know if he was forgivable, Tsukishima had never made any attempts to apologize fact to face. 

Actually, that’s a lie, he had. But he had chickened out last minute, the panic flooding his veins as he was faced with a situation almost identical to the one that had gotten him into the mess. Seeing her alongside the very person who had punched him in the face that day— well, the first person who had that is— a broad smile on her face.

And who was he to ruin that. Did he even want to know what she’d say? Would she call him ridiculous, a fool for even thinking an apology could mend anything between him?

Would hearing her voice one more time, even if it was just riddled with insults, be enough for closure? He’d done this to himself Tsukishima was well aware but that didn’t make him any less upset at the fact that he’d lost his best friend. 

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those memories as he stares at the message, a simple:

hey, it’s tsukishima. 

He was fairly sure that not only had he been blocked he had also had his number deleted, so starting with an introduction seemed right.

we’re meeting at my house tmrw after school. yamaguchi and i have volleyball practice, you can wait for us at the gym or just head over to my house i dont care. 

There are so many implications to the message and they all leave Y/N’s head spinning, or maybe she was reading into it. She wasn’t sure at this point, but it was clear that Tsukishima was well aware that she still had the key to his front door. 

Y/N elected to show up to volleyball practice rather than face his mother alone.

Stepping into the gym, the sound of shows scrapping against the floor, and volleyballs hitting the ground at an almost rapid pace as people moved around the courts just as quickly.

Y/N scrunches up her nose as she’s hit with the smell of sweat, something to be expected in a gym of course, lips pressing together into a straight line as she steps further into the gym and looks to her left. There stands another girl, albeit slightly intimidating but she looked far more approachable than the other people around the gym 

“Excuse me?” 

She turns, brows furrowing slightly at the sight of Y/N before offering her a smile and asking, “hey. How can I help you?”

Smiling back— albeit awkwardly— Y/N replies, “I’m waiting for someone,” Y/N quickly realizes that isn’t much information as she adds, “someone in this club. Actually, two people— that’s beside the point. Is there anywhere I can just sit, until the end?”

Once more her brows furrow, “our practices tend to go on pretty long, especially since some of the boys like extra work and we have a few practice games coming up.” Shaking her head slightly, the girl gestures to the bench beside her, “you can sit here with me, I’m Kiyoko by the way.”

��So who are you waiting for?”

“Oh, uh... Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

Y/N finds herself coming by the gym more often after that day, although it isn’t because she has to walk back to Tsukishima’s house after with him and Yamaguchi, it’s because she finds herself enjoying Kiyoko’s presence. She’s a quiet girl, but she’s rather witty behind the scenes, and certainly and entertaining and fun person. And so were the other boys in the club.

They’d quickly become intrigued by the presence of another girl and—

“Another female manager? Nice!”

“Another manager? Why?”

“Kiyoko are you leaving us!?”

Okay so maybe Y/N had inadvertently joined the Boy’s Volleyball Club, but she really had nothing better to do with her time, much less with all the time she had between school and when the practice ended, allowing Tsukishima to go home with Yamaguchi and Y/N. But it’s not like it wouldn’t be over soon, right? The groups would only last two weeks and then Y/N would be free of her old— or more accurately, ex-friend.

Wrong, the groups became permanent. For the rest of year the students have to use them, for every single group project. Leaving Y/N to dread the class each time she entered due to the burning anticipation of a possible group project. Though Yamaguchi had made several attempts to approach Y/N since their last project ended just a few weeks prior, going as far as ditching Tsukishima entirely to sit with her at lunch some days.

Y/N entertained him, it’s not like she wanted to be rude or anything— not to Yamaguchi that is, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t been the one to randomly explode and call her a variety of... colorful words upon finding her with a friend last year. 

Neither Y/N nor Yamaguchi bring it up of course, how Tsukishima had driven her away with his crude words that she never expected would ever be directed towards her. 

But...

“We’ll be having another group project for the next two weeks!”

The conversation was inevitable. 

Y/N nearly rams her head into her desk as she sighs, eyes drifting upwards towards the ceiling as though that would solve any of her current problems, before looking back to Tsukishima with a rather sarcastic smile that he returns with one of his own. Yamaguchi on the other hand, is waving rather enthusiastically from his seat in the classroom, beaming. 

It’s not like it was a bad group. They got things done, and when grades were returned, they were good. It’s just that Tsukishima was... Tsukishima. And as annoying and rude as he was, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more annoyed with herself because she still couldn’t find it in herself to hate him. 

Backpack slung over her shoulder, Y/N exhales deeply as she looks back at Yamaguchi who remains at his porch, “make sure she gets home safe, Tsukki!”

“That’s really not necessary, Yams.” She assures, giving him a pointed look when Tsukishima turns around with a disinterested shrug. But of course. the boy waves her off, simply shoving her forwards with Tsukki, offering her a thumbs up and a smile. 

Y/N simply turns around and follows Tsukishima with a scowl, quickly moving ahead of him as she tugs her backpack strap tighter onto her shoulder. 

Tsukishima is rolling his eyes as she moves ahead of him, “how am I supposed to stop you from getting kidnapped when you’re a mile ahead of me?” He calls out to her, maintaining his pace. Y/N doesn’t reply, continuing on ahead, “Y/N.” He repeats, “Y/N.” Once more, she ignores him, until she hears his steps pick up behind her, a hand wrapping around her wrist and stopping her movements. 

“Yes Kei?” She exclaims in annoyance, turning back to him. Only for her mouth to gape open as she grimaces, “Tsukishima. I mean.”

He exhales deeply, looking away momentarily before saying, “I’m sorry.”

So, Y/N laughs. “Wow. Tsukishima Kei swallowing his pride to apologize? Impressive.” Tsukishima opens his mouth to reply, only for Y/N to speak first and say, “I hate you.” Before tearing her arm out of his grasp and stepping ahead once more.

Y/N isn’t looking at him as he replies, “no you don’t.”

And Tsukishima would’ve believed had he not looked to his wrist, the number rising with each insult Y/N spewed. Though there was no denying that he deserved it, but that didn’t stop the grimace that came on his face before he asked, “you done?”

WHEN TSUKISHIMA FOUND OUT Y/N WAS HIS SOULMATE, it did not end well. He wasn’t really sure if he had a plan that day, but if he did it went out the window once he saw her with one of her friends from another school. Though Tsukishima had never met the boy in question, it didn’t take long for him to realize that Y/N liked him, whether that was platonic or not it didn’t matter. Because watching her laugh along with him in the convenience store only served as a reminder that there were people better than him.

Tsukishima had never considered himself insecure per se, much less an over thinker or anything of the sort. But the simple fact of the matter was, Y/N didn’t want him, she was stuck with him as his soulmate. 

And though she was blissfully unaware of this fact, why did that need to change? 

Perhaps she could be happier with that boy, with anyone other than him. Tsukishima had known Y/N for years and though he would never admit it, he respected her, he cared for her, long before he’d discovered they were soulmates. And prior to his discovery he’d always found the system idiotic, so why did his mindset have to change?

It was a bitter ideology, and a jealous and foolish reaction that put him in the place he’s in today. Though Tsukishima was fairly sure it only proved his point, that she deserved better, that didn’t make him any more remorseful of their friendship.

He’d nearly told her several times, like the blunt and straightforward person he is, Tsukishima had almost stopped her in the halls of school and simply said— “surprise! We’re soulmates. Sorry about calling you a whore and all, I was just jealous and bitter because I realized there are people out there better for you and somehow you got stuck with me!”

Yeah, that would’ve blown over real well. Tsukishima was fairly sure he would’ve received an addition hit to the face from her and Yamaguchi, again. 

Yamaguchi was not happy when he found out about the convenience store incident. At all. 

Tsukishima couldn’t recount many times when he was scared of Yamaguchi Tadashi, until his fist was flying towards his face. Of course, he laughed it off, wiping the blood from his nose, but that didn’t make it a fun experience by any means. 

Now, Tsukishima was just trying to amend things, slightly. It’s not like Y/N owed him any of her time, and it’s not like she needed to know that they were soulmates.

It would be better off that way for the both of them, or at least, that’s what Tsukishima told himself— much to Yamaguchi’s dismay. The boy had been urging Tsukishima to just tell her the truth, for a while now, to no avail. And when Tsukishima returned to class one day having discovered he would be in a group with her and Yamaguchi, well he couldn’t help but thing Yamaguchi was scheming. 

But looking up to Yamaguchi and Y/N, who are seated at the table of some café Y/N had insisted on coming to, Tsukishima can’t help but think it was worth it.

No, she didn’t need to know. 

And so, against her better judgement, Y/N had allowed things to return to normal. The same weekly hangouts they once had becoming daily because of volleyball practice each day, forcing Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Y/N together for even longer periods of time. Walks homes becoming progressively longer as they all speak amongst themselves— or more accurately, Y/N and Yamaguchi speak. Then again, Tsukishima had always been more of the quiet kind unless he had something witty to add on.

This revival of friendship meant the return of the late night calls as well, of course. Albeit, most of them filled with a comfortable silence that Y/N finds herself relishing in a she lays in bed, eyes glued to the time shining in the corner of her phone screen.

11:52PM.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N rolls over on her bed, tugging at her sleeve to pull it down and reveal the counter on her wrist. There have been a few lies today, though there hadn’t been any in the past few hours. In recent months the number had been fluctuating more which Y/N found... odd. 

Tsukishima seems to notice her shift in mood, though he doesn’t look up from his work as he asks, “what is it?” When Y/N doesn’t respond, he simply repeats himself, asking, “what’s wrong?

Y/N’s brows furrow as she huffs, bringing her arm back down and pushing herself up on her bed using her elbows before replying, “what do you mean?”

“The dramatic sigh.” Comes his reply, eyes still glued to the page in front of him as the sound of his pen moving against the paper fills his room.

Y/N looks to him on the screen incredulously as she scoffs, “it was not a dramatic sigh.”

A pause on his part as he looks down before replying, “I don’t even think you believe that Y/N.” He responds, rolling his eyes before adjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose. 

Sometimes Y/N wondered how he’d always been able to do that, read her like a book. Was she truly that predictable? Grimacing, Y/N brushes away the thought, “nothing is wrong?” Her response sounds more like a question, leaving her cringing at her inability to lie.

Tsukishima raises a brow as he dryly responds, “that was convincing.”

Y/N just sighs again, eyes drifting to her wrist once more— the counter now reset to zero as the day starts anew— as she pauses, wondering if the conversation would be worth it. 

“Do you ever think of you soulmate, Tsukishima?”

His pen stops, and if Y/N was looking at the screen rather than her wrist, she would’ve seen the way he straightened in his seat as he replied, “no. I don’t.” He clears his throat, “no point in dwelling on someone I haven’t even met yet.”

Maybe Y/N would’ve replied had the counter not ticked up to 2 as he spoke. 

But it was a coincidence. It had to be a coincidence. 

“So... you haven’t met your soulmate yet?

Another moment of silence before he replies, “no.” With a sigh.

3.

Y/N brings a hand to clasp over her mouth, “you’re kidding me.” A bitter laugh escapes her, “you’re fucking kidding me.” Y/N finds herself inhaling deeply as she attempts to calm herself. “How long have you known?”

Y/N WAS AVOIDING HIM, not that he didn’t deserve it, again. But that didn’t make it any better. Tsukishima found himself frowning as he stared at his eyes pierced into the back of her head, and for the first time he found himself hoping for a group project.

What a change in events. 

Tsukishima was honestly more worried about what Yamaguchi would say once he found out that he and Y/N were fighting again but... that was something to worry about for another time.

“We’ll be having a group project once more today! If you haven’t realized already, this class is oriented around the idea of building you collaborative and social skills.”

Okay, maybe not another time.

Tsukishima can practically hear Y/N’s head fall against her desk, his eyes drifting back to her as the teacher drones on about the requirements of this assignment and how they’ll pick up the rubric once class ends and they can further review it tomorrow. 

Probably because the bell rings almost immediately after. 

Y/N has already shot up from her seat, tugging her back over her shoulder as she beelines for the exit of the class. And for once, Tsukishima finds himself making an effort to keep up with her as he calls out her name, “Y/N, stop.”

This seems to garner Yamaguchi’s attention, who jogs to keep up with the pair as they all exit the classroom, “guys? What’s going on?”

“Everything is fine, Yamaguchi!” Comes Y/N’s response from ahead of them, waving him off. 

Yamaguchi’s brows furrow as he grabs Tsukishima’s wrist only to see that the counter has risen, causing him to look up at Tsukishima when he finally yanks his wrist away. “What did you do?”

Tsukishima looks to him incredulously, “what makes you think I did something?”

Yamaguchi looks to him blankly as he replies, “well Y/N isn’t chasing you through the halls, is she?” He rolls his eyes, jogging to get ahead of the both of them and block their path as he looked to them with furrowed brows, “what is going on guys?”

“Not now, Tadashi, please—”

“Tadashi?”

The group pauses in the empty hallway, most of the other students having left now that the day had ended, and the sound of Tsukishima’s voice is unlike anything Y/N has heard before as she sighs. 

“I wish you had told me, Tsukishima.” Is all she mumbles out, before dragging a hand through her hair and pushing past the both of them, turning the corner of the hall and leaving them alone there.

A/N: gasp :0 yamaguchi? 

[mashiraostail]

could you maybe do a part 2 of the depressive episode ask with fatgum, hawks, n gang orca pease?

ofc anon! I think these get progressivley longer also fldsfdsjl idk why that is, sorry!

Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fatgum You were both busy people, Taishiro was even busier than your average pro now that he’d taken on those two students, he didn’t mind the extra work though. Plus he was used to having you around on top of it all. He understood you worked as well, and he’d even tried going there to surprise you since it had been a few days since the pair of you spent any time together which was entirely unlike you only for your coworkers to say that you’d called out a fair bit of time. Maybe you’d headed home, a family birthday or special occasion beaconed you, but whenever you left you always asked him to watch your place, he’d hardly heard from you beyond a text for the past week or so now. So he decided to head over to yours after calling it early one day, he sent Kirishima and Amajiki packing and told them he had a small emergency to deal with, which wasn’t exactly a lie. He was growing a bit concerned for you your lack of communication with him wasn’t just rare it was totally unheard of, normally you were joined to him at the hip, you adored him and you always made sure he heard it all the time. He didn’t want to be overbearing or show up uninvited but he hated the idea of you being sick or worse with no help around, he understood how badly you wanted to be perfect for him, you didn’t want to add to his workload or be a bother at all, he was just trying to figure out the best way to make you see that you could never do any of that to him, and you’re perfect for him however you want to be. He knocks on the door a few times to no avail before electing to use his key, you’d given it to him a while ago but he still knocked most of the time, he didn’t like barging in on you, despite how he loved to have you do it to him, nothing was better than an unannounced surprise visit from you in his eyes.  “Anyone home?” He shuts the door quietly behind him and looks around. The mess says you should be in, that’s for sure. He’s holding a bag of snacks in his hands, plus some medicines and general stuff in case you were sick with a cold or the flu, and he already had his whole chastising speech set up in his head for you.  But he had to find you first. There wouldn’t have been any place for you in the living room, the couch was littered with groceries that had yet to be put away, the coffee table covered in glasses and the kitchen wasn’t much better, it was full of everything and anything but actual food. The door to the laundry room was just barely holding a tidal wave of unfolded clothes back. The bedroom door was slightly ajar.  “Hey, you-”  He nudges the door open with his shoulder, “‘re you decent? Can I open my eyes ‘fore I bump into something-”  “Taishiro?” He hears the rumpling of blankets, and your voice is wet and tired and warbly and even though you didn’t give him the go-ahead he couldn't help but rush over to you at the sound of it. “Hey, what’s the matter? He drops the bag on the bed to your other side and instinctively cups your face in his hands.  “What are you doing here I-”   “I was just in the area and... it’s been a while since I spent any time with you, sorry barge in like this, you didn’t answer the door, I just wanted to check on you..and it seems like it was a good thing I did..” You’re looking up at him like a deer in headlights, it’s only then that he realizes his potential indiscretion. He moves to pull away from you, to wait for a green light to touch you and be close to you, he didn’t want to overwhelm you, or make you feel guilty or anything like that. You can sense that he’s about to pull back, and a few minutes ago all you wanted was to be alone but now that he was here, the last thing you wanted was for him to not be near you. You take a hold of his wrist.  He let out a long, thankful sigh, “alright then, I’ll stay right here.” He sits on the edge of your bed, “I’m glad you’re here.” He nudges your hair back with his other hand, “’re you sick?”  You shake your head in his hands, “No I just-” Your voice waivers, “I feel so terrible-”  “Terrible like how?” He looks guilty of something and it just makes you feel worse, “did something happen? Someone giving you a hard time or-”  “No-” You choke it out tears already slipping down your face, “I just..I’m so exhausted and I feel like everyone hates me or forgot about me and I know somewhere in my head that that’s such a stupid thing to even worry about but I can’t stop worrying and-”  “Hey, it’s alright, it’s alright,” he shushes you, “I see now, I get it now.” He pushes your cheeks up under his palms, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner. I didn’t come sooner-”  “It’s not your job to take care of me-” You warble, “I’m being a stupid baby I-”  “Stop that. Just because something isn’t my job or responsibility doesn’t mean I still won’t wanna do it. You take care of me all the time.” “This isn't the same I-”  “Come on and give me a hug.” He cuts you off before you can get anything else out, “I really need a hug, can you?” He scoops you up, underneath your arms and pulls you forward, he drops back into your mussed up pillows.  “Tighter,” he complains as your arms coil around him weakly, and you laugh through a cascade of tears.  “Feels good to cry huh?” He’s holding the back of your head with more protective instinct than you’ve ever felt from anyone. His other hand pulls the blanket up around you.  “I couldn’t- I’ve been- all week and I just-” You hiccup, “I had to so bad but I couldn’t, and you-” He shushes you again. “Go on ahead, cry as much as you need to. I won’t say it doesn’t break my heart a little to hear it, but I know you’ll feel better after. And don’t go apologizing for this either, sometimes it’s just what you need. Let it all out. I’ll be here if you get sick from it. Afterward, I can help clean up, get you in a nice hot shower, make you something to eat? Sound good?”  “Will you stay all night?” You were pressed into his chest, his tear-stained shirt muffled your voice but he got the idea.  “Honey, I’ll stay as long as you want me.” 

Keigo Takami/Hawks The no. 2 hero rarely has much time to kill, that being said Keigo liked to make it a point to see you as often as he could, or at least to text you. But over the past few days, you'd hardly replied at all, and when you did they were just simple one or two-word answers. It worried him, gnawed at him, for a myriad of reasons; were you sick? Were you drowning in work? Had you run into some kind of trouble? Were you injured? Had you gotten tired of waiting up for him? Sick of canceled dates and being woken up by him clambering out of bed early in the morning to answer a call, exhausted by all the would-be intimate moments between the pair of you that were interrupted by his work? All of these possibilities were equal parts nerve-wracking and heartbreaking. If you were sick he wanted you to reach out and ask him for help, there wasn’t anything he couldn’t make time for if you were involved, he’d figure it out, he always did... if you were in some kind of trouble or injured did you not feel like you could ask him to come to watch out for you without being a bother to him? Did he make you feel like a burden? Or worst of all had you just grown tired of him? Him and his baggage and his job? The gnawing in his chest become too hard to ignore. He could pawn this patrol off on someone else, it was a slow enough day anyways, maybe Enji would do it. He snorted at the thought. He’d just fly by your window, see if you were in, what you were up to. Maybe you were just swamped at work, he reminded himself, sure he was busy but that didn't mean you couldn’t be too, and two busy partners can make for sparse communication, there was a fair chance all of this was just you being busy too. He counts the windows and flies up, it wasn’t hard to memorize which one leads to your apartment. When he gets up there the blinds are open, he can see right inside.  You woke up feeling okay today, okay enough that you figured maybe you could tackle this goddamn laundry at least, it was making such a mess in the hall and you thought maybe if you got that sorted out you’d feel a little more useful. But somehow you just ended up sitting on the floor in the hall, back against the wall, laundry basket spilled before you in a bigger mess than when you started. You may be an adult with a job and apartment but you were crying about the mess. You were an adult, you can cry about whatever you want, that’s a perk of being an adult. You sink further into the wall somehow.  His vantage point lets him look clean through the living room into the small hallway where you sat. It’s slightly cracked, just enough that a few feathers can wiggle in and push it open enough that he can slide his fingers underneath. He should head to the ground, walk up the stairs and knock, like a normal person. But he can’t help it, he’s panicked, what the hell happened to you? You were just sitting there, laundry basket spilled, sobbing into your hands? Were you hurt? Did someone break-in? He couldn’t waste time on foot.  “Hey-” He strangles it out as he’s contorting himself to duck into your window, “It’s okay, hey- I’m here, I’m here now, babe what happened?” He’s squeezing into your window, his wings folding and tufting up against the windowpane, “do you need my help? Are you hurt? Is someone here did someone-” He falls inside unceremoniously, a ball of red feathers and sherpa by your house plant.  You’d never been so happy to witness his stupid antics, you’d never met someone so smart yet so dumb. It felt good to see him, you hadn’t realized how much you missed him. “Keigo?” You drop the shirt you were crying into, “n-no, I’m not hurt I just dropped the laundry and..-” Coincidentally it was his shirt.  “Is this because of me?” He notices it fall to the ground, he looks incredibly guilty, “did I do something to upset you? To-” he scrambles up into a sitting position, “make you feel like I don’t care about you?” A feather is already righting the tipped over laundry basket, a few more collecting various tee shirts and socks.  “What?” You wipe your face with your hands as he clambers over to you, you sniffle, “no Keigo you didn’t-” You shake your head as he nudges your legs apart and sits between your bent knees, “I’m sorry I’m the problem it’s me-” You look forward to him and his eyebrows furrow.  “What do you mean? No one’s the problem there isn’t a problem what’s the-” He squeezes your arms, “forget it. Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you..and now I find you crying on the ground and-”  “I’ve been here.” Your voice cracks, “I haven’t gone out once.” You laugh wetly, “it’s embarrassing. I just...I can’t do it. I feel so useless. I do nothing all day but I’m so tired Keigo..I’m even too tired to sleep..”  The mess that would have taken you days to clean on your own was practically rectified now, and Keigo hadn’t even lifted a finger.  “I’m sorry I worried you.” You wither back into the wall and he shakes his head.  “I don’t want sorry. I get it, I understand now.” He takes your face in his hands, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner-”  “Your job’s more important than taking care of me like a child-”  “That’s not a fair comparison. And it’s not true anyway. I know my work is important but that doesn’t mean other things can’t be important too. I want to be here for you. You would if it were me right?”  You nod meekly at that, “thank you for coming I- I don’t even know what happened one minute it was fine and the next I-”  “It doesn’t matter. It happens to the best of us. I just wish you’d called me. Asked for my help I... I was so worried that you were sick or..worse than that.. you were sick of me.” He laughs a little, “how stupid is that right? Like you’d ever get sick of me.”  “Does that feather have my underwear?” You look at it over his shoulder.  “Sorry. I... thought it would be funny.” It falls to the ground, you snort. “You’re right. That is stupid Keigo.” You murmur, “I’d never get sick of you.” “My job’s important, I know it eats up my time, and we don’t get to be together as much as I want to sometimes...”  “I think I should be the one pleading my case right now Keigo.” You laugh a little, “my apartment is disgusting, I’m crying over dropped laundry and you haven't even seen the state of my kitchen yet. I ignored you for days over nothing, I’ve barely showered I probably smell abysmal and-”  “It wasn’t over nothing and you don’t need to plead your case with me because you’re going through a rough patch, I’m the one that’s been too busy to notice you struggling-” He shakes his head, “all because of my work, I can’t... not do it but I want to be with you, I want to be with you all the time, I’m probably so annoying blowing up your phone and climbing in your window whenever I have a few second... I don’t know how you put up with me, I’d get sick of me in a few days.” He reaches out and tugs the bottom hem of your shirt aimlessly, “I don’t know how you do it. I guess all I do know is that I want you to stay near me.”  “Keigo-” You warble and pull him into your chest, “I'm sorry I scared you-”  “Don’t be sorry just...know that I want you to ask me for help...I know it’s easier said than done but..well I just said it. I just wanna be with you, all the time, like 24/7 I don’t even care what we’re doing. I’ll do all your laundry forever if you just stay near me while I do it. It’s not a bother you aren’t burdening me just ask me for help. I don’t want you to feel like this...let’s just..” He turns into the crook of your neck and sighs, “stay like this for a minute. And then I’ll help you clean up around here, that’s what's upsetting you right? The mess? Lucky for you I’ve got plenty of hands...well feathers. And then we’ll see what else we can get done, together okay babe?”  “Yeah.” You press your cheek into his hair, “thank you for understanding.”  Keigo nods, his finger traces the neckline of your shirt and he speaks again, “Please don’t pull away so much, I missed you, you’re the only person around here who has any fun besides Rumi, and whenever we’re together one of us ends up with a broken bone or worse.”  You snort at that, “okay, noted.”  “And I think you smell great by the way.” 

Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca It felt weird to be away from Kugo so much. You just hated the idea of him seeing you like this. You were tired and irritable and in a mess all the time, you hadn’t changed your pants in days and the only meal you’d had over the past 3 days was crackers and bread, maybe toast depending on your mood. Not to mention the laundry situation or the chaotic state of your bathroom. You normally hated mess, and even though you didn’t have the energy to clean it ..it still made you terribly anxious.  You were almost out of crackers, you hated that you lived in the exact area Kugo patroled, it was how you’d met in the first place, and normally it was a delight to run into him on your way home from your own job, even just catching a glimpse of him patroling out your window usually really improved your mood but the thought of running into him now made you sick to your stomach. You couldn’t get the energy up to put something nicer on, but you didn’t even have a morsel of food left, everything you had you’d Mcgyvered into something to eat. If you saw him you’d have to explain where you’d been for the past week, why you’d been basically ignoring him, and even when you did answer him it was just to blow him off or send him to voicemail. You wanted to see him, but you were too afraid at this point, you’d dug yourself into a deep hole, there’s no way he wouldn’t be mad at you. Not that he’d ever gotten mad at you before really. But this time would be different. Or at least you’d convinced yourself of that. Maybe keeping your hood up would stop him from recognizing you.  You made it to the store with no incident, you were feeling pretty hopeful, though equally drained, you barely went up and down 3 isles before deciding you were done after finding the pre-made cold brew you’d been craving. It amounted to about 3 bags total, and the cold brew bottle wasn’t exactly small..well you could always order out.  Worried was a gross understatement, Kugo was sick with it. He wanted to barge in, everytime he offered to go to you you said no, you had a conference call, you were working late, your neighbors were fighting again, so on and so forth. That paired with the one to two-word answers he’d been receiving made his stomach hurt in a way he only experienced when he couldn’t tell the outcome of a big mission. He asked if you were okay practically every day and you always said you were fine. Though when he mentioned it to Hakamada the other hero informed him that ‘I’m fine’ was usually 'code’ for something else. If space was what you wanted then he’d let you have some...that being said when he saw what was certainly your receding figure on the street..wearing shorts in this weather?  “Hey-” His voice makes you jump out of your skin. God the universe seriously hates you this week.  “Kugo-” You don’t wanna turn around.  “What are you wearing? It’s freezing out you should be wearing a coat and pants.” He wraps an arm around you, “you’re shaking. What were you thinking huh?” He reaches out and takes your groceries too, “you better be going home.”  “I am..” You murmured, “I just needed to run out fast, I’m not cold, don’t get distracted from work because of me-”  “I’ll bring you home. It’s fine, don’t worry about that there are plenty of people out today.”  “I-”  “Please let me bring you home.” He huddles you into his side, “I’ve been worried..”  “Have you?”  “Of course I have, you’ve made yourself so scarce recently, and now this?”  “’m sorry..” You hug your chest as you turn the corner to your complex.  “Do you want me to come up with you?” He turns to you. Now you were at a crossroads, you’d seen him, you were seeing him, he was touching you, his side was warm and his arm around you was comforting and the idea of being alone was equally as upsetting as the idea of him seeing the state of your apartment or the state of you close up. “You aren’t even wearing layers.” He scoffs as the neckline of your hoodie dips a bit. “Do you want me, yes or no? Either is okay but you need to get inside before you get sick.”  “I do want you to come with me I just-”  “Well explain upstairs then.” He's ushering you inside the moment you finish. “Did you lose your keys?” He’s still squeezing you into his side when you stop at your front door. “I... don’t want you to see it.”  “See what my love? Your apartment? I think we’re a bit past that.” He presses his nose into your hood which is still covering your head. “It’s a mess- I’m a mess Kugo.”  “I doubt it's that bad. Even if it is I won’t mind, so let’s go in instead of standing out here like two fools.”  “Promise you won’t be mad.” You turn the key and he sighs.  “I promise.” The door creaks open and you aren’t sure if it’s your anxious mind playing tricks on you or if it’s 10x worse than what you remember.  “Oh god-” You warble, “I'm so sorry Kugo this is so embarrassing.” The way your voice breaks makes him jump. “Hey-” He sets your groceries down on the sliver of free counter space he can find, “no tears my love, no tears okay?” He puts his hands on your shoulders, “is this where you’ve been? Why you haven’t been talking to me? You’ve been all shut up in here?” He turns to you and you just want to fold in on yourself and disappear. “I wanted to clean, and I wanted to call you but  I just couldn’t get the energy to and it kept piling up and my bathroom is even worse and I didn’t know what to do and then even when I started to miss you I was too embarrassed at the idea of you seeing me like this because I can’t even comb my hair right now let alone take a shower or even change my clothes and I was afraid you’d be angry with me for letting it get so bad and I-” “Stop.” He pulls you forward and you fall against him wistlessly, “relax, you’ll work yourself up to tears like that.” He cups the back of your head. “I won’t ever be mad you for something like this. Why would you be afraid of that?” He takes your face in his hands, “and why would you be embarrassed of me seeing you when you don’t feel well? I’m here to help you.” He nudges your hood back, “call me sooner next time, please, if not for your sake for mine.” A big hand cups the nape of your neck, “I was worried sick about you dear.”  “I’m sorry-” Your voice cracks, “I’m sorry Kugo I just-”  “I understand. I’m sorry too, I should have checked in sooner, I should have made sure you knew you can trust me with this sort of thing.” “It’s my fault not your’s don’t be sorry Kugo I-” You’re blinking back tears and he sighs. “There’s no sense in going back and fourth about it.” His thumb rubs your temple, “I’m just glad I’m here now. I’m sorry you don’t feel well but seeing you after so long is a relief, I really missed you.”  “I missed you too Kugo-” Your voice cracks and you throw your arms around his neck and shoulders.  “Do you need to cry? Don’t hold back for my sake.” A big hand rubs circles between your shoulder blades egging you on, “if crying will help then cry. I’m right here for you. No more worrying okay my dear?”  “Okay-” You wipe your nose on your sleeve over his shoulder, tears falling freely, “thank you for coming Kugo-” Your feet are hardly on the ground anymore, your face nestled into his shoulder, “I’m sorry for getting tears all over your-”  “What did I say about worrying?” He pulls you back and uses his thumb to clean off one cheek, leaning down and brushing his nose against the other you let out a thankful sigh at the gentle touch.  “I just can’t help it Kugo-” You murmur, voice still wet with tears, “i just love you so much and I don’t-”  “Oh, you’re such a sweet little thing.” He pulls you up a bit by your cheeks, “it just breaks my heart to see you like this. I may never let you out of my sight again.”  “I’m okay with that.” You duck into his neck with a hiccup and he laughs.  “I love you too, why don’t you take a warm shower, I’ll help you however I can, then I think we should call it a night, we can worry about the mess tomorrow.” “You don’t mind?” You squeeze him around his shoulders and he hums.  “I don’t mind at all.” He promises, “I’ll do whatever I can to help you feel better.”

[shyrose57]

Thank you other anon for wishing me well!! That means a lot to me! 

He does but Raq doesn't actually know Rans backstory. So he doesn't know Ran has siblings. He just assumes his mom either died or abandoned him due to finding Ran completely alone and being a hybrid. Before Ran would just scream at Raq in Enderian, now both Raq and Ran scream at eachother in it. Jackie describes it as, "A screaming match to assert dominance." 

Yep, his body was already straining itself to fend off the posion and the teleporting ended up straining him more than he could handle. So as soon as he teleported them he collapsed and wasn't able to even stand. 

That just made me imagine them digging down only to look up and see Phil clambering down after them like a mole. 

After he made a scavenger hunt made out of everyone else's items. Phil found his axe in a destroyed tree trunk and Ran found his sword buried in the ground. While Sapnap found his bow hidden behind stones and Jackie was never able to find his particularly because Ranboo forgot where he hid it. 

Yes, although its very rough. 

Porkius is very very suprised and needs time to come to turns with them being there. While Porkius reacts well to Techno, Techno does not like Porkius and has threatened to punch him a few times and one time he followed through and punched him hard enough to make him fall to the ground. 

Definitely.

---------------------

Ranboo is still his ancestor! Ran feels mostly confused, startled, scared, and oddly a bit comfortable. Phil makes him feel comfortable because he reminds him so much of Watson who was a very close and comforting figure to him. But Techno kind of scares him cause while Porkius was kind to him he was also strict, so he's afraid Techno will be stricter and mean just due to how he looks. He also just kinda ignores Ranboo at first because he can't handle the fact he's looking at his now alive ancestor. 

Not really I'd say, even though they all have different enderman percentces, they have the same instincts. Though due to Ranboos memory problem, his memory of enderman culture is almost non-existent, and instead presents itself through his instincts. If any of that makes sense? 

Karl is terrified upon seeing Ran, as soon as he even hears he's here he immediately drops what he's doing and after a few questions runs off to find and confront him. Tubbo is incredibly fascinated by Ran and at first he respects Ran's boundaries and stays away from him, but as soon as Ran is walking around outside and exploring the surrounding environment, he sees that as the perfect opportunity to bombard Ran with questions. Eret (who I like to headcanon is like a medic and knows a lot more about medicine than most), doesnt comment at first and is instead focused on helping him, but after he learns more about Ran, he is fascinated by him but takes time to get to know Ran and work on making a friendship with him. No one else, not even Michael knows about Ran being there, though they do eventually find out. 

A multitude of reasons 1. He landed wrong and ended up breaking an arm and cracking two ribs due to the sudden stop. 2. He isn't used to traveling through time so time travel had the affect of making him very sick, including headaches and nausea. 3. When he was dragged into the timetravel a match in the Pit just ended and he had a few bruises and cuts that hadn't been taken care of yet, so the travel and harsh landing just aggravated them and re-opened some. 4. The harsh landing ended up also giving him a concussion. 

When Ran is finally consciousness enough he refuses to speak in anything other than Enderian. At first Phil and Techno are scared he can't speak nor understand their language. But Edward steps in and tells them he can both understand and speak it he just doesn't want to necessarily. So Edward does the communication with Ran on their behalf, he also takes the time to comfort and help him come to terms with him being there. Edward is also the one to gently push/convince Ran to actually speak to them. 

Agreed, uh, maybe From Future to Past? Idk. 

------------------------

I already have a name for this au thankfully, Tip of the Iceberg AU. (Also I wanna say real quick not every single character in the Dream SMP or Tales From The SMP will be featured in this au because it's just to many characters for me to keep track of, it'll mostly be characters I feel like I understand if that makes sense)

They end up everywhere, the Bandits end up in Las Nevadas and end up robbing the place before they bolt, running with no real direction in mind. Zack and Cletus end up just outside of Las Nevadas but they run off into the woods once they hear yelling inside the country. Isaac, Porkums, and Grievous end up in Kinoko Kingdom. Ran lands in Erets castle and accidentally breaks a window from his entrance. Jackie, Jon Jon, and Sheriff Sherman end up in Pogtopia but manage to get out (expect Jackie who is stuck and they can't get him out so they actually left for help). Benjamin lands into the ocean around the Guardian farm. Ranbob also lands near the Guardian farm but instead on land. Charles and Watson land somewhere nearby Foolish's summer home. Ranbulter and James get dropped onto Tommys Memorial Island. And Ash lands in Snowchester. (Note I believe these will be all the tales characters I'll be mostly using, but if any get added I'll probably mention where they also ended up). 

Something important though is that almost no one stayed where they landed, Ran ran off into the surrounding forest so he could focus on regathering himself and calm down without worrying about getting attacked, Benjamin just randomly picks a direction to go (North) and ends up picking up Ranbob to join him. John John and Sherman went different directions to look for help; the Kinoko Kingdom group argues before finally Porkums and Grievous head off together having elected to follow the oceans edge (they think the Kingdom is abandoned and think following the ocean will eventually lead them to a city or something), while Isaac calls them stupid and stays around the Kingdom, exploring and taking stuff; and Charles and Watson just kinda walk around though stay in the general area. Anyone I did not mention stays where they landed or is close to where they landed. SOMETHING IMPORTANT THOUGH IS THAT NONE OF THEM GET DIRECTLY SEEN BY ANY SMP MEMBERS RIGHT AWAY, its only found out what happened when Quackity accuses Fundy of stealing from him which he heavily declines. And instead says that he saw others riding out of the country so it must've been them (he saw them from a distance), and their descriptions are enough to unnerve Karl who then goes back to Kinoko Kingdom to look at his Tales from the SMP books where he runs directly into Isaac and realizes what he feared is true. 

Once Karl gets confirmation that people from both the past and future are here he immediately calls an emergency meeting and just tells everyone almost immediately that he's a time traveler so it doesn't become a problem later, they don't believe him but Isaac is kind enough to help convince them. Soon everyone is convinced and while everyone is included only a few are actually part of a active search party. Those people being Techno, Phil, Ranboo, Tubbo, Foolish, Quackity, Sam, Eret, Bad, and of course Karl. Everyone else is assigned to just keep a eye out. Not everyone is in the party because they didn't want to be or they had other stuff to be doing.

He explains the In-between and Other Side but other than that they never really interfere, if anything he gets dragged into both sides when sleeping and the two sides both push him to find everyone and fix it all.

Jackie, as per usual, is the funniest gremlin on the block.

Poor Ran!! At least he gets some rest?

Absolutely terrifying image, I pity the poor fool who witnesses it.

Pfft. Can you just imagine the chaos? Half the time it's probably just caused by his memory issues. Prank war a few weeks ago? Ranboo forgets the traps he put up, and everyone ends up with brightly colored hair, and a large amount of rabbits in their house, and he;s standing right there with them trying to figure out who did it.

It's something, so I'll take it!

Technoblade: Nearly starting wars since...uh, whenever he spawned in, I'm not really sure of the details there.

Good.

-----------------

So Ran is aware Ranboo is his ancestor? Does he have the same backstory as Brothers AU!Ran?

Does this mean Ranboo is working solely on instincts when around other Endermen or Ran? How does that work out?

And since Enderwalk has all his memories, what are Ran's encounters with him like? Is he aware of Enderwalk state, or was that lost to time? Where do their instincts lead them? Does Ranboo get a bit more hesitant towards Ran when he's leaning more on them? Or is he more open and welcoming? Can he tell Ran shares his blood?

Confrontation? Uh oh, how does that go? Especially considering Ran's possibly the only one to have a vague idea of Karl's hobby? Does it end up coming out?

How does Ran feel about having Tubbo constantly ask questions? Is Tubbo just curious, or is he trying to figure things out? Does this mean Ran ends up in Snowchester, or does Tubbo head to the Antarctic? Medic Eret?? What kind of relationship do they have with Techno and Phil to get called in and come to their aid? How do Eret, Karl, and Tubbo learn of him, if this is being kept hush-hush, and why is it being kept such?

Poor Ran, he's really gotten the short end of the stick here. So time traveling can negatively effect those not used to it/built for it? Does Karl suffer similarly?

And Edward speaks Common, then? Also, Edward!! Is he still Techno's roommate here? Does he have a little nearby area? Or does he head back to the End when he's not hanging around? Has he been helping Ranboo as well?

Sounds good!

-------------------------

Gotcha, gotcha.

The fact that the bandits first instinct upon appearing in a strange new place with no prior warning is to rob it brings me great joy. How does that go for them? How far do they get, what do they steal?

Cletus & Zack: Dunno who you are or where I am, but I don't like the sound of that, so lets bolt.

Issac, Porkums, and Grievous actually don't sound like a chaotic combination, so they probably don't cause too much trouble.

Poor Eret. Imagine just trying to enjoy your day and coming back in to see your window broken.

Jon Jon and Sherman with Jackie just sounds really funny actually. The blatant contrast from time periods and all, and Jackie's pure chaotic energy...Also, they'd both be so much taller than him. Why was he stuck though? What happened?

Another question is, at what point was everyone tossed back? Long after Karl had left, before meeting him, in the middle? Is it different for some? How do those who've met him before react? Why does Isaac believe Karl, and how does he help convince the others?

Who's found first? What happens then? Is anyone hurt? What are both sides definition of 'fixing it all', and how does being dragged in between the two effect Karl?

[moonguardsecrets]

hi im berenal

So I'd like to preface by saying I don't really use this blog too much, I mostly read it every now and again but that's about it. I've been relatively quiet concerning this issue but frankly I don't think that's the right way to go about it anymore, so I'm just going to address some stuff.

I've always believed in being pretty transparent about my issues, especially beef with other people. So while this blog is all about being anonymous, I'm just going to put up my side of this whole thing.

1. Concerning my guild/our story. There's a post I've seen pop up a few times that we've accused Blizzard of copying our stuff for Drustvar. While there's some striking similarities between some of our stuff and Drustvar, we know that Blizzard doesn't care about some random guild on MG. It was a meme. Maybe it's cause sarcasm gets lost in text, idk, but we've never actually believed that our stuff was stolen. We've actually fully embraced the similarities and have been super looking forward to the Drust stuff cause it's a cool concept, but this idea that we've somehow been slighted by Blizzard/earnestly believe that there was a copy thing isn't true. It was a joke that I guess went over poorly outside of our guild. We still say it as a joke in our casual conversations, accusing a specific guild mate of being a blizzard spy whenever something funny happens. It's a little outlandish to me personally that it got taken seriously but hey I'm not going to point a finger around, I'm just clarifying that the Blades as a group doesn't actually think this.

As for my character, which I've seen people saying I try to roleplay Greymane, thanks I guess? Berenal as a character is meant to be insanely patriotic. If they ever turned Genn into a villain, Berenal would follow him, unless it was done so in a really weird way like old gods or something overtly obvious. The character is meant to echo Greymane's statements, but I've never tried to pass myself off as Genn IC or state I have absolute authority from him or whatever.

Our guild is centered around Gilneas foremost and we put a lot of our narrative in-house rather than post it up publicly because we don't believe in forcing an intrusive narrative. I know I've been accused of such personally when Flames of War was doing Ashenvale, though I'll address that a bit later.

2. Concerning the titles of ranks in the guild. Recently a post came out, which was deleted because it did include the name explicitly of our stuff, that was talking about a title given to one of my officers. The post included a mistranslation, saying it translated to queen. That's just blatantly not true. For some background, the position was a recent creation because our previous council system wasn't working too well for this branch so we downsized it to the main officer in charge of the branch of the guild.

Given that this is our pagan project, and they have their own language (which yes, we do proxy with Irish cause I'm not a linguist and I don't have the means or time to make my own language up), we used an amalgam of a few words to describe it. The title roughly translates to an arbitrator of law/leader of law. Not king, not queen. In fact it's not even a noble position either, it's an elected one that if Aleyina were to ever step down, it'd go to whoever was elected next. We use the title Grand Master, Spymaster, Rionasai, and a few others throughout the guild. They're all on the same level of 'power', and countless other guilds have similar structure. I'm not sure what drove the need to lie about that but I'd just like to clear that misconception up before I go into my next point.

3. Concerning the pagan project in my guild. My guild has had a pagan project in it for roughly 4-5 years. I put up the original article for it about almost a year after we started it. It's a story I personally started back in Mists of Pandaria and have cultivated alongside several others for years, it's something I only recently managed to hand off into other people's hands for running it because I couldn't focus on it, I have other narratives and stories that I tell in my guild, but here's the proof of how old this story is. (Note, at the time the Pagans were called "Wickers", which is actually where the whole drust meme even comes from on our side.)

https://i.imgur.com/7rgG9t5.png

I was fascinated with the bare minimal lore that Blizzard provided for the Old Ways and Harvest Witches/Wizards that I tried to expand on that by making a group of people based around the ideology of an expanded religion that roots its self from a common point in druidism.

What started originally as a side group grew into an entire branch of our guild and has since been something I've personally invested years worth of time growing and developing as a writing project alongside others. We've made a point of making nearly everything in this branch original content and it's at the point it's at after four to five years of growth and development alongside the main narrative of the guild. It's a project that I have personally cultivated with the help of others for years and has been personally invested into by the guild as a whole through nearly three expansions now.

On top of it, a while ago we were accused of having said our runes were celtic or something. That's not true. They're stylized elder futhark, we've never bothered to hide that. In fact, I've attached some images below.

https://i.imgur.com/q5MHveU.png

This is an image from Varian's grave in Stormwind. The runes are translatable elder futhark, and this is the closest representation to Common we have in the game.

https://i.imgur.com/C9jc7sG.png

This is an image from Haustvald in Stormheim. These runes too are Elder Futhark, though they've been slightly stylized and include some runes that are gibberish it's meant to represent Vrykul. The angle's a little bad but if you go there in game Elder Futhark is literally lining most of Stormheim. You can translate these as well, it's pretty nifty.

The premise of our written language for the project we have for runes has never been 'celtic', we just based it off whatever Blizzard ended up saying was 'humanity's language'. Our group takes some minor inspiration from norse and celtic themes, but the majority of it is original writing, and the runes themselves are based around the idea of having descended from vrykul runes; so we just kept to the format that Blizz themselves are using for humans in the game.

4. Concerning Flames of War. While this one has largely died down, I'd still like to address it. Flames of War is a team effort, something with over ten coordinators that all of us still actively communicate with one another fairly regularly. During this time I'd been claimed as a dictator, or that I was giving special attention to myself/my own. Flames of War has never been solely 'dictated' by my actions. Every major decision has been either voted on or come to consensus one way or another, including story decisions. Sure I'm the dude who made the server but I've forfeited any real 'power' that gives me in favor of a council system. Ergo, if you're mad at me for something that happened in Flames of War, I highly encourage you to re-assess the things that happened and either speak to myself or another coordinator. We're not in this for some weird power play or whatever, this is a video game in the end of the day and unlike some past 'moguls of the server', I'm earnestly just looking to make my virtual barbie doll be in some cool situations, not make him grand poobah of the alliance or whatever. I can speak on behalf of the rest of the team and say they feel the exact same way.

5. Concerning our adherence to lore. I know there's been some people who have accused my guild of breaking lore/saying I don't care about lore. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a giant lore fanatic and for whatever reason people use me like an almanac in a few servers for lore questions. I really honestly do try to keep the boundaries of my guild within reasonable lore parameters. Despite the rumors, no, my character doesn't have regular casual chats with Genn Greymane, no, our lands are not 'flawless with millions of gold and soldiers', no, we don't RP like we run Gilneas either. All we're trying to do is have fun with the game and tell a story of a rundown kingdom trying to get back on it's feet.

6. Concerning deleted secrets. Yes, I've requested secrets be deleted before because, honestly, ever since this nick-name stuff started it's stopped being remotely ambiguous. Sword of Genn isn't even remotely ambiguous. Neither is Knives of Greymane, that's just changing one word. The rules for the blog on the side state anything that can be considered trolling or abuse of anonymity is grounds for removal of secrets; so I've just used those rules since honestly, a lot of these are really weird accusations. Each time I've been willing/or have provided screenshots to prove the contrary. Not all secrets concerning my guild have been deleted; only the ones that break the rules. This segways into my final point.

As I said at the beginning of this huge post, I've always been a believer of transparency. If you have issue with me, or any of my guild mates, I'm honestly imploring people to contact me over Discord or in game. My tag is:

Berenal#0693 In game it's just Berenal, no weird letters. I'll be online in Boralus.

You don't need to contact me on your main account if you're afraid I'm going to 'out you' or whatever. Any conversation we have will be one on one between us. You can even delete it afterwards, I don't mind. So come to me on a throw-away discord account, let it out to my face, or maybe we can even hash out our differences. I'm more interested in getting this shit done with than trying to start a flame war, honestly. In the end of the day this is a game to me and mine, and we're all paying 15 bucks a month to have fun. I've cleared out my block list entirely, so there's nothing stopping people from contacting me.

I do hope folks reach out so we can hash our differences out and do our own thing, instead of whatever vendetta seems to have brewed up over play pretend for god knows what reason. I earnestly don't understand the point of the majority of these vitriolic posts; it just seems to subsist off the idea of throwing words around for what real reason? To upset people? I don't get it. I don't see what posting incessantly here about it does to fix anything.

If you've got issue with me or my guys come talk to me about it, my door's open.

[foundcarcosa]

ccxxix.

Childhood

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: >> I spent my childhood time with my Constant Companions of the time. Jacana Heights was a happenin’ place, but the most happenin’ was the theater in the center of town, where every night Eden Long and [whatever my name happened to be at the time] would perform an old favourite story or a shining new story for the enraptured masses. (When I put it like that, being incapable of socialisation with other children doesn’t seem too steep a price to pay.) Did people consider you an odd child?: >> I mean, considering how I answered the last question... but even from an outside point of view, I seem to have struck people as odd, yeah. Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: >> No. Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: >> Thoughts, I’d say not. 

Were they intricate or simple thoughts?: >> Who’s to say, really.

If you answered “intricate”, give an example of one of those thoughts: >> --- Were you dreams very vivid as a child?: >> From what I recall, yes. The mild trypophobia I had through most of my life was directly caused by a childhood dream. What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: >> I don’t remember anything particularly strange. Then again, I am not a good judge of what’s strange and what’s not...  Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: >> Something like that. For whatever it was worth (not much, it seems). What was the most “grown-up” thing you ever said as a child?: >> I don’t know. What were your favourite TV shows in early childhood?: >> I didn’t really have any, especially considering how little TV I was actually allowed to watch.  Were you afraid of monsters?: >> No. But similarly, I was afraid of the lion motifs my Leo father had everywhere. Some of them were frighteningly realistic and would come to life in my dreams. Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: >> Sometimes they were. Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical? >> I was quiet and artistic.  Issues and stuff Do you eat meat?: >> Selectively. I consider myself pescetarian, if pressed.  If you do, what is your justification for it?: >> I don’t need to justify meat-eating. Food is food. If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: >> Meh. Do you believe in the death penalty?: >> I’m not too fond of the concept.  Did Mumia do it?: >> Wow, that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long while. If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: >> That’s too many variables to account for. What are your opinions of Michael Moore?: >> I have none. Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: >> I’m in favour of it. Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: >> I’m not fond of it. What television news coverage do you detest the most?: >> I don’t even bother with televised news anymore. What will you do if Bush is re-elected? >> Ha! Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: >> Hmm. Who do you consider “American Heros”? >> Hmm.  Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? >> Sure. Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Reason?: >> Oh, definitely. Because I’m really excited, because a character is doing something dumb, because I’m trying to encourage a character to Do The Thing, etc.  Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: >> I haven’t.  Are the Muppetes sinister? Think about it.: >> Are they?  Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: >> We don’t have cable, so not on a regular basis -- but I watch it on other people’s cable sometimes. Ever gotten into an “in person” argument with a total stranger? Discuss: >> Maybe? I don’t know. Sugar or Honey?: >> Honey, generally. What’s on your desk right now?: >> Heimdall (the machine), its peripherals, and some sundry. How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: >> 5 or so, sometimes upwards of 10. Mostly things I end up deleting right away. Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: >> I mean, sure. Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: >> Ha! San Francisco or New York City?: >> I know NYC intimately. I would like to visit San Francisco. What are your favorite color combinations?: >> Blues and greys, greens and greys, golds and... well, a lot of things. Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: >> Trees.  Do you enjoy night or day better?: >> I love both for different reasons. Favorite animal: >> Otters, capybara.  Have you ever been to a protest?: >> Yes.  Aggravated a cop on purpose?: >> Noooo. Ever gone train hopping/ridden the rails?: >> No, but I’ve strongly considered it. If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be?: >> I’m fine here.  Ever put your hand through a window?: >> Through a broken one, or...? I mean, probably. List a few words you hate the sound of: >> I can’t think of one now. And a few you like the sound of: >> Meh. Are you sick of this survey yet? >> No. Emotions And Such Have you attempted suicide more than once?: >> Only once.  Cutting?: >> For about six years, with some isolated incidents in the years following. Do you get violent when you are angry?: >> Occasionally. Which emotion are you most consumed by?: >> I’m most often not consumed by an emotion. Are you highly emotive?: >> Nah. Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: >> I am reluctant to discuss problems with anyone outside of Xibalba. Do you fall in love easily?: >> Yes. What age/year was the most difficult for you?: >> That’s impossible for me to quantify. How do you channel your anger/sadness?: >> A variety of ways. Ever been addicted to alcohol or drugs?: >> I’d say not. Ever been homeless?: >> For most of my adult life. List a few simple things that make you happy: >> Can Calah (okay that’s not a thing but listen), the smell of my roll-on oil, watching absinthe be prepared, seeing dogs hanging out of car windows. When were you most recently your happiest?: >> I mean, /shrug  Do you consider yourself empathetic?: >> Not particularly. But it happens sometimes. Friends Describe your best friend as if you were describing a character from a film: >> I don’t even know where to begin with that, lol. Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: >> I guess? I mean. List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: >> First of all, I’m having trouble even figuring who counts as a friend for this purpose. I always have a crisis of understanding whenever I try to figure out who are friends of mine. So I’ll just skip most of these. Do you keep in touch with friends from high school?: >> That would require me having friends in high school. Have you lost touch with many of your friends?: >> --- Are they mostly local or long distance?: >> I definitely don’t have any local friends. That’s easy to figure out. When you go out with friends, what kinds of things do you do?: >> --- Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: >> /shrug? If yes, are you still friends with that person?: >> --- Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: >> --- Do you have a hard time making friends because most people bore you?: >> That’s not why, no.  Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups?: >> I prefer two or three friends. Which of you online friends do you have the most in common with?: >> Who knows. Family Are you close to your family?: >> No. What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: >> I appreciate all the traits I’ve gotten from my father.   What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: >> --- Does your family live locally or far away?: >> People in my family live in several different places. Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: >> I don’t speak to almost any of them. Have either of your parents died?: >> Not that I’m aware of, but then again, it’d be difficult to even find me to tell me. Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: >> Most of the people in my family are very different from me. How many siblings do you have?: >> Five. Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: >> No...? IDK. Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: >> I mean... I don’t spend holidays with family members, so if that’s what this question is referring to, I’ll have to pass. Do you look like your parents?: >> I look a bit like both, I suppose. List one interesting fact about your family: >> --- Lovers Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: >> No idea.  Married/partnered?: >> Partnered, yes. Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: >> No. Ever broken someones heart?: >> Maybe. How many serious relationships have you had?: >> Several. Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have?: >> Oh, yeah. Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: >> Sure. Ever cheated?: >> Yes. Been cheated on?: >> Not to my knowledge. Thrown someones stuff out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: >> No.  Had your stuff thrown out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: >> No. Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: >> I’m not sure.  Most important physical qualities?: >> Hmm. Food & Drink Non-alcoholic beverage of choice: >> Water. Alcoholic beverage of choice: >> Absinthe. Foods you crave on a regular basis: >> I’m not sure.

Salsa and Chips or Pita and Hummus?: >> Pita and hummus. Meat or Tofu?: >> Meat. Soup or Salad?: >> Salad. Soda or Juice?: >> Juice. Can I get you anything else?: >> Hmm. Favorite candy:: >> Ferrero Rocher. Favorite food to make: >> Nope.

Food brand that you hate?: >> Hmm. Do you try to buy all organic?: >> No. Favorite quick food?: >> Morningstar veggie burgers. Final Questions Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: >> No. Ever yelled at an SUV?: >> I mean, maybe. A Hummer?: >> An even more likely possibility. Ever faked being sick to get out of going somewhere?: >> No. If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: >> No. Bambi or Nemo?: >> Neither. List 3 things that are worrying you right now: >> --- It’s too fucking long, right?: >> The survey? I’ve definitely taken longer. Well, I’m just trying to help you pass the time.: >> I appreciate it. Do you think you’ll ever have children if you don’t already?: >> Maybe. (Raise, not actually have.) Do you think there is life on other planets?: >> Sure. Have you ever broken a leg or arm?: >> No. Would you rather stay in the house or do things outside: >> I prefer a balance. I definitely feel my wanderlust straining at its leash these days. David Letterman or Jay Leno?: >> --- Last words?: >> Deuces.

[actual-corpse]

Causing trouble and pushing the envelope is like, my whole deal... I'm a piece of shit who loves to get in people's ear and be in control... To give you an exact degree of my ways I'll share a quote, "If I can be the guy just behind the guy in charge, that suits me just fine." -Porter Gage.. and this has literally been my business model until shit went south near the end of the 2019 Fall Semester... Before Corona ruined everything for everyone and actually helped me deliver a hard blow to the assholes who did me wrong (more on this later). I’m also incredibly petty and I tend to hold grudges.

Fun story for better context:

I like accolades. I like shiny medals and rewards... And I like recognition, but I don't like being the main man in charge. Another wonderful Porter Gage quote, "Sure as hell ain't gonna be me; leading outright ain't my style, and there's already some blamin' me for supporting Colter all this time (more on the Colter bit later)." And "My talents are best put to use helping a new Overboss get all this shit under control. You get me?"... 

So, I spent the 2019 Spring semester (2nd semester of freshman year) and the 2019 Fall semester (1st semester of Sophomore year) as a member of some type of student government... The university I go to doesn’t have ‘dorms’ it has “Residential Colleges” and in the Res Colleges there’s a government called the RCC and I spent those 2 semesters as Vice President... Well, I was getting my bearings and learning the ropes in spring but when Fall rolled around, I was ready to rock. See, every member of the RCC I was a part of left, except me and this other girl. The other girl was a complete pushover, so I mostly got what I wanted and I was actually the guy in charge.. I even tossed the whole RCC Constitution and rewrote it to suit my needs... Only to have it used as toilet paper (more on this later).

That didn’t last too long as I was on the campaign to finding a new President, hell, I wanted to run... But I was met with the first of many strange obstacles... This mysterious “they” that thought it would be best if I didn’t run because of some wild BS that made absolutely no sense, and I quote, “They don’t think it’d look good on us if you ran for president since you didn’t run last semester.” Wtf? Well, I didn’t run and instead, some new transfer girl came in as president... And I got my first taste of being the Porter...

People would listen to her, and she would listen to me... They didn’t want me in charge, but I still was... And I’m sure they didn’t like it, but fuck ‘em...

Well, everything went tits up for the assholes in Housing (the mysterious ‘They’ has a name and I know ‘They’ are from Housing because they thwart me at every turn) and especially for the College Head when the president resigned... She bit off more than she could chew and just couldn’t handle the stress so she moved back home to up north land... Now was my time for a hostile takeover!!! Remember when I said I rewrote the constitution to suit my needs? Well, every other RCC constitution had a clause where the VP would take over for the President until a new one was elected... Except, it didn’t happen... No, this mysterious “They” told the President to “appoint” someone... This, boiled my blood... Especially since they NEVER once told me why they were doing me dirty... Well, jokes on those assholes, I raised a fuss over this and it led them to vote... Too my my fucking older brother DIED that weekend so I obviously couldn’t show up to defend myself or get any reasoning as to WHY they were doing what they were.

Well, while I was out for the week, things went in my favor... Hilariously and very ironically, they voted that the girl appointed as Interim President should NOT be interim and that it should just instead, follow the Constitution... (It’s ironic because this girl had a chronic issue of projecting where she would discredit ANYONE looking for a higher position by saying, “It’s a very stressful job. Idk if they can handle it... Etc.” she couldn’t handle her own fucking job as RA, that’s why she quit after one semester)... ANYWAY

Well, time rolls on and I’m grooming someone for the position of president... Someone I thought I could trust... A very close friend who I thought I could “guide” from the sidelines... Well, just like Gage and Conner, shit went south and I just happen to die in the crossfire... You see, I helped this friend. I talked him up, I helped him campaign (not literally... I just helped him get his ideas off the ground like, I was behind him)... And I was ready to crown my scapegoat... Except, things didn’t go as I had planned...

No, when the next semester rolls around, I’m all geared up to lead the charge into a new presidency, I’m also spearheading a few other projects (more on this later) and so, I’m ready to be the Porter again.... Except, I’m not... See, the meeting after we vote for the new president, the college head says we need a new Secretary (the RA who quit was the previous secretary) and we needed a new VP... Except, I was the VP! No, instead this dick flop goes around the room and asks the Web Chair if she wants to keep her position (She says no and so Dick Flop hands it off to the first bitch who raises her hand) And then Dick Flop asks the Media Chair if she wants to keep her position (She says yes) and then he proceeds to act as tho I’m not even there and asks for nominations for secretary and VP!

 The first RCA (Residential College Association) meeting of the new semester that we go to, the guy I made president, completely ignores the fact that at the RCA meetings, our Res College, is a team, who works together to vote on things... He acts completely alone... He ignores me, and I get pissed off... Well, come his first RCC meeting where he’s president, he completely undermines my title and job (I had been demoted and he was walking all over everybody...and I became RCA rep... I was supposed to relay the information we got at the RCA meetings to the RCC... The Dickhead president does this instead... In fact, he did everyone’s jobs) This was not okay. I tried to let him know that this was not okay and since he ignored me, I kinda threw my phone down on the table in front of him (I had to sign a sign-in sheet), picked it back up and stormed out.

Well, I wasn’t the only one who hated this guy... It seems that everyone was angry over something... See, there was another RCA rep... She didn’t get to do her job, so she got mad. The RAs and RD had a weekly meeting after RCC and since President Dick liked to suck himself and the College Head off, the RCC meetings lasted an hour. I don’t know how many people knew I was backing President Dick, but I’m sure those that did know, were a little miffed at me for backing him... My mistake... Hilariously enough, I had planned yet another hostile takeover... Covid just kind of, got in my way and forced me to change direction... Oops.

About that second project... I was in charge of a few different things... I was kind of important, for without me, the group was lacking specific information and various other things... Well, the more important project was All Campus Sing (and here I just gave away what University I go to because as far as I know, only one Uni does ACS)... Well, I was our ACS rep and I was trying to get a team together... Just, nobody was cooperating with me and so it was hard to get the word out... Well, shortly after I was abruptly kicked from my VP position, I was also kicked from my ACS rep position (However, those fucking idiots neglected to come to me and ask if there was anything they need to know... They thought that all they had to do was say they were interested and they could show up... However, they just invoked the wrath of the ONLY person that had any know-how of what they were supposed to do... So whenever I got an ACS email... I deleted it... They never got signed up... There was an actual process to getting entered into the competition... And they knew nothing about it... They didn’t even know what they were doing) If it wasn’t Covid who ruined their ACS, then it would’ve been me [thanks Covid...] In fact, because there WAS no ACS this year, they just re-streamed last year’s ACS instead... The one where I was on the winning Res College team.

Another thing I was in charge of was getting together an Academic Team.. We kind of had one, I was just the one who let people know when and where the matches where... And I was also trying to get a team together for the tournament... Except, everyone was too flaky and wouldn’t give me a straight answer... So, there was no team.... And so, on the eve of the Tournament, the College Head kept bothering me asking if I had a team and all that jive... Well, at that moment, I was sitting in a Logan’s in Paducah, KY after visiting a sex shop with some friends and my good buddy Matthew told me to just block the College Head... So I did, I blocked his number... And on the next day, Tournament Day, I slept... Then I went and hung out with some friends, one of which was showing me photos on Instagram where they had the Tournament... And every Res College was there... Except ours... And we laughed and I’m sure the College Head was mad... But I wouldn’t know, I blocked him and proceeded to avoid him like the plague... Old bastard...

To end this wild tale of heartbreak and deceit, I’d like to say this; I’m moving into a different Res College and I’m still debating on whether or not I want to take control there... I need to find a way to get back at the assholes in my old RC (Res College)... Like, most of the RAs were mean and smarted off to residents and were very disrespectful, and also the RCC that somehow became an exclusive club of ass-kissers and know-it-alls... I mean, yeah, I had my run of the place, but I can get that anywhere... It’s just my deal....

I also bend the ears of many people... In fact, I managed to pursuade a couple of my friends to move RCs with me (I only chose the one I did because I was chasing dick [shame on me I know...]... But I was gonna move regardless)... I am The Mastermind and I intend to have my run of the place in the new building.

This post was supposed to be about how I’m covertly coming out to my mom by pushing the envelope and asking her if I could get top surgery (on the basis of just not having to deal with breasts) or if I could have a Hysto (because periods amirite?) and also just how I have the awful habit of persuading people, mostly through some kind of manipulation, to do what I want....

It’s all about the Charisma, and my Charisma stat is maxed out...

Call me all the bad names you want to... Just know that I typically treat people right until they turn on me or hurt me in some way... Or, I mess with people in a harmless way and usually try to push for an outcome that helps everyone... Not just me... I use these tools for good! Not evil... Usually.... If there’s something I can gain from it, I’ll fight for it... Again, call me dirty names... I’m tired of being the nice guy doormat... This world’s made me into a selfish asshole and I’m no longer sorry...